by John Wineland

We did 2 hours of focused sexual practice this weekend in 6 Month Advanced Group I do on the subject of ejaculation and circulating sexual energy!! What I always notice is exactly how hard it is to reverse YEARS of habitual ejaculatory process through breath, yogic and meditative practice. 

It's like working muscles that have rarely been used and rewiring the nervous system. Our brains and bodies are wired from a young age for the pleasure payoff of ejaculation.

I have come to believe that there are three main factors that push most men over the edge. Even with the physical practice of contracting the PC muscle, once these areas hit critical mass, there is no going back.

1. We get so full with sexual energy(ours and our partners) that we have no choice but to let it go.

2. All of the sexual energy collects in the genitals and is not circulated through our bodies, our partners bodies or the room we are in!!

3. We get attached to a thought, image, sound, sensation rather than being the witness to them all.

I would add a fourth to this as well...

4. We get tense and contract....until we have to explode....think of the Big Bang. Check your experience. Have you ever ejaculated from a completely relaxed space???

Now I will be the first to say, practicing and mastering the art of relaxed, breath controlled circulation of sexual energy is easier said than done!!I It is a life long journey, especially when your heart is wide open and feeling every inch of your partner.

But quick and remarkable gains can be made with some basic practices. Once we start to look at ejaculatory control as a meditative and yogic practice, a whole new world can open up for us and our lovers.

Here is what is working for me and the men I teach.

1. Get empty--empty your mind of thought and fantasy and practice relaxing into consciousness

2. Open and soften your body with breath. This makes you extremely sensitive and attuned to your bodies and the space you are in.

3. Circulate the energy using any number Taoist, Tantric or Yogic breath techniques.

4. Keep coming back to relaxation. Start to get aware of the way tension builds as you get more excited and consciously drop all tension.

5. Come back to heart connectedness. This gives you both incredible energy and is incredibly important for the feminine (his and hers) to feel safe and relaxed.